{"id":395,"date":"2014-07-15T09:00:29","date_gmt":"2014-07-15T09:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.unk.com\/blog\/?p=395"},"modified":"2024-04-11T05:23:42","modified_gmt":"2024-04-11T11:23:42","slug":"3-ways-to-activate-your-clients-observing-self","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unk.com\/blog\/3-ways-to-activate-your-clients-observing-self\/","title":{"rendered":"What Is &#8216;The Observing Self&#8217; And Why Is It Such A Powerful Therapy Tool?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>&#8220;I think I did that because I was feeling so hurt.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;If I could tell my teenage self one thing, it would be this.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;Anxiety overwhelms me when I see him, which is why I get so flustered &#8211; my brain stops working!&#8221;\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>We human beings have a unique ability that rarely gets talked about (in Western culture anyway).<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s the ability\u00a0<span style=\"line-height: 1.5;\">to observe and react to our own behaviours as if they\u00a0were the actions of someone else. In other words, to engage the &#8216;observing self&#8217;. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>And as therapists and counsellors we can encourage our clients to utilize their observing self, because it enables them to<span style=\"line-height: 1.5;\">\u00a0&#8216;step out&#8217; of problematic trance states and gain a fresh perspective. <\/span><\/p>\n<h3>Prefer to watch instead?<\/h3>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/6Wb8c7O3E8s?si=M3W9usnKDWh4xHC4&amp;rel=0\" title=\"Watch What Is 'The Observing Self' And Why Is It Such A Powerful Therapy Tool?\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<h3>The observing self makes us human<\/h3>\n<p>The observing self is perhaps the seat of what it is to <i>be<\/i> human. As far as we can tell, no other creature has the capacity to reflect on reality and its own place within that reality;\u00a0if other creatures do have something similar, it is to a much lesser degree.<\/p>\n<p>This ability is a function of the prefrontal neo-cortex, which we can regard as the &#8216;conductor&#8217; of the brain&#8217;s &#8216;orchestra&#8217; or the &#8216;leader&#8217; of the brain &#8216;nation&#8217;.<br \/>\n\nFrom this capacity flows the potential to become more than just our immediate and current self in our immediate and current circumstances.<\/p>\n<p>Many classic psychotherapeutic techniques (such as <a href=\"http:\/\/www.hypnosisdownloads.com\/training\/rewind-technique\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">&#8216;The Rewind&#8217;<\/a>) specifically encourage the use of the observing self. The extent to which we can engage this faculty\u00a0corresponds to how well we can transcend the situations in which we find ourselves, understand the workings of our own minds, and minimize\u00a0damaging emotions so we have clarity and calm.<\/p>\n<h2>Here are three\u00a0ways you can use a client&#8217;s observing self to help them feel better<\/h2>\n<h3>1. Grade emotion, motivation, or pain<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.unk.com\/blog\/solution-focused-questions-scaling-in-therapy\/\">Whenever we grade (scale) a problem&#8217;s intensity<\/a>, it is as if a part of us is watching the problem from the outside. We are partly outside the problem pattern and have removed it from our &#8216;core&#8217; self. This breaks the grip of the problem behaviour.<\/p>\n<p>If I feel anxious and decide that &#8217;10&#8217; is the most terrified I could possibly feel and &#8216;1&#8217; is the most relaxed, I might\u00a0then scale my anxiety at that moment as &#8216;7&#8217;. The <i>very fact of doing this<\/i> requires me to use my observing self. This is one reason we use scaling with our clients.<\/p>\n<h3>2. Raise a laugh<\/h3>\n<p>When we laugh at a situation (or at ourselves), then, for that time, we engage the observing self. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.unk.com\/blog\/3-therapy-techniques-to-help-your-clients-transcend-their-labels\/\">When people get labelled<\/a> (or label themselves) as &#8216;depressive&#8217;, &#8216;anxious&#8217;, or &#8216;alcoholic&#8217;, the opposite happens. The core of the person becomes identified with their behaviour. In a sense, perspective is lost and their identity becomes meshed with their &#8216;condition&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, humour needs to be encouraged at the right time and in the right way. But you can tell that the capacity to engage the observing self is getting stronger when you see someone start to show flashes of humour in relation to their situation.<\/p>\n<h3>3. Use metaphor and analogy<\/h3>\n<p>If you are lost in a thick forest, all you know is that you are submerged in a sea of trees.<\/p>\n<p>But imagine what it would be like if you could be lifted <i>above<\/i> the trees for a moment. You might look down and see that you are actually very close to a path. After being set gently down again, you&#8217;d be so much better able to find your way out of this mass of trees.<\/p>\n<p>This metaphor neatly demonstrates both how metaphor can <i>activate<\/i> the observing self and how engaging the observing self can <i>help people take a more detached view<\/i> of their circumstances, putting themselves in a better position to escape a problem state or situation. Describing the <i>pattern<\/i> of a person&#8217;s problem via <a href=\"http:\/\/www.unk.com\/blog\/story-therapy-why-it-works\/\">a story or analogy lets them see it &#8216;from the outside&#8217;.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>There are many ways to help people detach psychologically from their emotional patterns. I would even go so far as to say that not just individuals but whole nations and cultures need to be able to view themselves from the outside so as to have a crack at becoming as healthy as possible.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The &#8216;observing self&#8217; helps us understand the workings of our own minds.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3600,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","filesize_raw":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[27],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Is &#039;The Observing Self&#039; 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